The Reluctant, Hostile Hypocrite


The truth is I haven’t written a blog post since June 2nd because I’m just overwhelmed by the sadness, violence, danger, and evil in the world.  I’ve literally been speechless, and numb.  There is so much hurt, anger, pain, and unrest that I feel as if I am in the center of a tornado with all of this hate swirling deadly, endlessly, and closing in around me.



For 20+ years I had very animated, and heated debates with my step-father on the subject of gun control.  He was a life-long, card carrying NRA member who worked as a security guard in his later years, and who had a CHL and a firearm he carried on his person at all times.  My stance on who, and who should not own a firearm is very radical, and always has been.  To say we clashed was an understatement.  We were never able to come to an agreement, or happy medium all the way up to losing him to cancer 2 years ago.  I really miss you Larry, and our loving battles over double chocolate vodka, and the beer you kept just for me in your fridge even though you didn’t drink.



The point is I’m angry, and being forced against my will to become a hypocrite.  I have to concede my values, my beliefs, and everything I’ve stood for MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE and open myself up to the possibility of owning a firearm.  It makes me physically ill that this world has gotten so bad that I have to learn how to kill another human being to defend my life, my family, and my home.  Because make no mistake, that is what’s going to happen.  That’s the whole point, right?


In my personal experience all of the 2nd Amendment people I have spoken to out there, who already own firearms, are not looking to warn an intruder/attacker off.  They are straight up going to shoot to kill.  For the most part they have no military/police training to hone their skills/instincts on how to handle a deadly situation.  They do not have the strict tactical knowledge that military and law enforcement officers receive that keeps them calmer and able to defend and protect.  Nope.  What they have is a few hours in a classroom and a piece of paper (maybe)…….  and now a gun.  Or multiple guns.



No one that I know of does either.  It’s like being caught in a rip tide.  Being drug out to sea as you helplessly try to swim to shore.  I see people swimming, but nobody is making it in.

So, I remain a House Cat in Paradise, sickened and angry over a hostile, and dangerous world full of violence and hate……. and probably reluctant hypocrites like me.


4 thoughts on “The Reluctant, Hostile Hypocrite”

  1. I think you are brave to write this. I disagree with you, but I completely understand why you are writing it. It is a terrible time for your country right now, and my heart breaks for you all.

    While I am British by birth and a Canadian by choice, I have lived in the US. I love your country and by a far margin, love all the people I have met while living there. I’ve lived in San Francisco, New York, Cincinnati and Raleigh. With the exception of San Francisco, I have always felt safe. In fact, in my neighborhood in Raleigh I had a vast majority of neighbors that kept guns in their homes and one friend in particular that concealed carried wherever he went, including to my home for parties. I was fine with this because he was a kind, thoughtful, trained person. Again, I felt safe and protected.

    I take issue with this: “All of the rest of the 2nd Amendment people out there who already own firearms are not looking to warn an intruder/attacker off. They are straight up going to shoot to kill”. That’s simply not true. I have never met one person who owned a gun that wanted to straight up shoot to kill. Not one.
    Does that mean that there aren’t any like that? Nob I believe they are in the minority. I think sweeping statements like that hurt more than heal…though I GET why you wrote it. It is a frustrating problem made worse by people not listening to each other..

    I don’t look at you as a hypocrite at all. Things are changing in your country and you feel threatened. Some would say you are overreacting, others would say you are justified. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is how YOU think.

    If you are serious and are now considering owning a gun, I would not think you are being a hypocrite. You seem like a very sensible and highly intelligent person to me. You’re not learning to kill someone. You’re learning how to defend yourself and your family by taking proper lessons in gun safety and usage.

    I’m not one of those people that think guns are the problem. I think the person is the problem. In Canada we have very strict gun laws. Guess what? We still have shootings. Lots of them, as a matter of fact because, CRIMINALS! I’ve given you a couple of links to look at.

    Gun control doesn’t solve the underlying problem. It’s not that I am against gun control, it is just that we need a better solution.

    I’m glad you wrote this post. You needed to. I can tell. I respect your opinion and look forward to more of your blog posts!





    1. Thanks for your honesty and feedback. The link you provided was an interesting read. Regarding my 2nd amendment quote I SHOULD have qualified it by saying “in my experience” as I have never once had a conversation with a gun owner where they stated any other intention other than to kill if in danger or protecting what is theirs. I will edit my post accordingly. Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re so welcome. I really do enjoy all your posts and I’m glad you said what you needed to say. I have always been on the right…a conservative if you want to label it. I enjoy reading and talking to people who have a different perspective. My aim is not to change their minds, but to understand another persons viewpoint. I think we can all disagree without being disagreeable.

        By the way…I’m glad your Bella suffered no ill effects from the chicken.

        Liked by 1 person

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