The Reluctant, Hostile Hypocrite


The truth is I haven’t written a blog post since June 2nd because I’m just overwhelmed by the sadness, violence, danger, and evil in the world.  I’ve literally been speechless, and numb.  There is so much hurt, anger, pain, and unrest that I feel as if I am in the center of a tornado with all of this hate swirling deadly, endlessly, and closing in around me.



For 20+ years I had very animated, and heated debates with my step-father on the subject of gun control.  He was a life-long, card carrying NRA member who worked as a security guard in his later years, and who had a CHL and a firearm he carried on his person at all times.  My stance on who, and who should not own a firearm is very radical, and always has been.  To say we clashed was an understatement.  We were never able to come to an agreement, or happy medium all the way up to losing him to cancer 2 years ago.  I really miss you Larry, and our loving battles over double chocolate vodka, and the beer you kept just for me in your fridge even though you didn’t drink.



The point is I’m angry, and being forced against my will to become a hypocrite.  I have to concede my values, my beliefs, and everything I’ve stood for MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE and open myself up to the possibility of owning a firearm.  It makes me physically ill that this world has gotten so bad that I have to learn how to kill another human being to defend my life, my family, and my home.  Because make no mistake, that is what’s going to happen.  That’s the whole point, right?


In my personal experience all of the 2nd Amendment people I have spoken to out there, who already own firearms, are not looking to warn an intruder/attacker off.  They are straight up going to shoot to kill.  For the most part they have no military/police training to hone their skills/instincts on how to handle a deadly situation.  They do not have the strict tactical knowledge that military and law enforcement officers receive that keeps them calmer and able to defend and protect.  Nope.  What they have is a few hours in a classroom and a piece of paper (maybe)…….  and now a gun.  Or multiple guns.



No one that I know of does either.  It’s like being caught in a rip tide.  Being drug out to sea as you helplessly try to swim to shore.  I see people swimming, but nobody is making it in.

So, I remain a House Cat in Paradise, sickened and angry over a hostile, and dangerous world full of violence and hate……. and probably reluctant hypocrites like me.



The Glass is Half Full… Damn it!

The Glass Is Half Full…. Damn It!

I am an eternal optimist.  No Joke.  I look on the bright side of EVERYTHING, EVERYTIME, no matter what the situation.  It’s just how I am wired.


In a world full of pessimists, glass half empties, and black clouds I continue to spread my special “fairy dust of optimism” wherever I go.  I see absolutely no point in always looking at what can go wrong.  It’s not even a conscious decision on my part, it is my constant view on the world.


It’s in my nature to automatically trust people until given a reason not to, and although I have been hurt by some of those people, I am happy to say that for the most part I have been right.  You don’t have to earn my trust, you get it on day one once I accept you into my inner circle.  Isn’t that a nice thought?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were just a few more people out there that thought like that?  I think so, but that’s just me.

All that being said, I should point out that once you do hurt me, I have the wonderful ability to completely, absolutely, irreversibly cut you out of my life FOREVER!  No looking back, no second thoughts, you are gone.  Extreme?  Some may think so, but I believe that my ability to disconnect from the bad in my life allows me the peace that I enjoy.

My motto is: “Why worry about something until it happens?  Because worrying about it will not change the outcome”.  See, I have just freed myself of hours, days, weeks, and months of stress by knowing that I have done what I need to do- all that I can do- and the rest is just in the waiting.


Now, if you are the opposite of me I accept that.  I am surrounded by people that I love every day of my life who are the total opposite of me.  My husband is an eternal pessimist, but we joke that the reason why we are so perfect for each other is that he is the Yin to my Yang.  LOL.  I am constantly trying to show him the bright side of any given situation, giving him hope and some peace to reduce the stress he is putting on himself.  I have been told that I am a very calming presence to be around, and I hope that’s true.  I know that it works in my house.

So, the next time you are faced with the opportunity to look on the bright side why not give it a try.  If you cannot find the bright side message me and maybe we can find it together.


A little about me…… I’m a princess……yes, a real live princess….. I have a purse, shoe, and book obsession. I’m a borderline animal hoarder with 2 dogs, and 4 cats, and I’m also a House Cat, living in paradise with the love of my life aka Mr. Sexy Pants.  I can’t stand hot weather……… love when it’s cold outside, and I’m emotionally high maintenance requiring LOTS of attention. I only sing in the car, not the shower, and always by myself…… Last, but not least………I drive a little red hot rod Hyundai (yes I know, don’t say it), her name is Scarlett and I’m sure we will be pulled over by some bored police officer near you very soon.


I Was Raised by an Egg Timer

I Was Raised by an Egg Timer.

I’ve been asked before that if I could write a book on my life what would it be titled.  Simple.  I was raised by an egg timer.

It really explains so much about my personality when you think about it.  I am a born strategist.  Born of necessity because of critical time management skills learned so young…  I am painfully punctual.  These two personality traits are deeply rooted in my childhood thanks to my mother.

me and momma

To say that I am lazy is an understatement.  I know it, I accept it, but you may not realize this about me.  Bill Gates said this…..


Well, the internet says that Bill Gates said this…. Who knows?

My sainted mother had the hardest time getting me to do anything in a timely manner, so she devised a plan that would forever change me.  She bought an egg timer.  Now this egg timer began to rule my life with an iron clock.  I had so many minutes to get out of bed, or when that egg timer went off she was coming in to dump ice water on my head.

I had so many minutes to finish drinking my water, or I would lose a privilege.  (Note:  I hated water as a child and still do as an adult.  I also suffered from kidney issues because of this.  The doctor wanted me to drink 6 to 8- 8 ounce glasses of water a day, and it was only upon threat of the egg timer that I would do so).

You name it and she clocked me.  Eating dinner, cleaning my room, doing the dishes….. I hated that thing.  Gives me heart palpitations just thinking about it, but it worked.  Well, I say it worked because I strategize everything.  I also am never late.  Invite me somewhere and find out.  🙂  I will be the one calling to find out where you are, you only have 5 minutes left……

God bless Momma for her alternative child rearing decision.  I very rarely failed to complete my tasks on time, always wondered about the “or else” if I didn’t beat the clock, but I still do not drink my water.




It sure is quiet around here. Empty Nesting day #1

It sure is quiet around here.  Empty Nesting day #1


Yesterday our daughter moved to Colorado, but I don’t count that as Empty Nesting Day #1.  Why?  Because my day consisted of me wandering around our home doing my best “sad panda” imitation, and my night involved me reeling with anxiety as mid-way through her road trip she started having car problems.  The 13 hour trip turned into a 20 hour trip, and I’m just glad that it’s over.

So, today is Empty Nesting day #1.

It’s so quiet.  I think our animals are even off balance because she’s gone.  Maybe I’m projecting.

I woke up this morning and no kitchen cabinets were open, no late night eating evidence was on the counters, and no lights were on for me to turn off.  You see, these were my morning routines since Baby Girl worked nights while we slept.  No sounds of the ice maker at 3am, no slamming of the patio door as she wandered in and out, no 10pm pizza delivery because she was hungry after we went to bed.  It was a quiet night, something that I am not used to.


Our little duckling has left home, and now it’s just me, Daddy, and the animals.  It’s amazing the hole one person can leave behind.

On a happier note, I am looking forward to running around in my unmentionables, and redecorating rooms that are now empty.  The running around in my unmentionables will commence today, but the empty rooms are going to have to wait a few days while I work up to that.




To my daughter who doesn’t read my blogs… This ones for you.

Even though I see you everyday it’s still hard for me sometimes to process the fact that I have a 24 year old version of your Daddy and I running around this earth.

It’s also hard to process that you are moving to Colorado today from our home in Texas. Hard, being out of the ordinary, not sad, as it’s just been us three together for most of your life.

I’m excited for you. It’s the start of your adventure. Packing up and leaving home…. Traveling hundreds of miles away full of love and wonder and excitement. Your Daddy and I did the same 25 years ago when we were way younger than you are now.

My advice is to let go of any negativity in the past and truly live in the wonder and magic of today.  Of all of your tomorrows. Don’t look back…. You are not going that way!

From the moment I met your Daddy he was my home. Where he wanted to go I was right there. No questions. No hesitation. I didn’t look back either. It’s not hard to jump when you trust someone to always be there to catch you.  There really isn’t anything in our lives that we can say “I wish we would have done that, but we were too scared”.

You are a better, stronger version of me.  Of us.

So trust. Jump. And Fly!  Start making all of the memories you will be telling your daughter one day.

Make them exciting. That’s what I did.

Love, Mom


I Release Butterflies…. What’s Your Super Power?

I release butterflies… What’s your super power?


Relaxing outside with MSP (Mr. Sexy Pants aka my husband for those of you who don’t follow me on Facebook) after he comes home from work is one of my favorite things to do.  We have coffee by the pool, listening to the waterfall and the birds singing, and watch the dogs run around chasing squirrels as we catch up on each others day.  It’s a quiet, peaceful part of our routine that allows us to reconnect after 8 hours apart.

Eight hours, huh?  You laugh, but those who really know us also know that we are happiest together, and after 25 years of marriage, eight hours apart is still the worst part of each others days.


It’s in these times that my “Super Power” comes in handy.  My husband calls it “Releasing Butterflies”.  My ability to release the happiness inside of me to uplift him, and negate the bad energies that the stress of his life has brought upon him.  My daughter says that I am the most annoying person in the world because I’m too happy all of the time.  I’ll take that.  There’s too much sadness in the world.


My natural state is to be happy.  Glass always half full, look on the bright side, no dark clouds here…. But, I also have so many other things that keep me that way.  Things that, should I have a bad day, are always there to bring me back up.


#1 I’m married to the love of my life, who also happens to be my best friend

#2 He tells, and shows me that one of his major goals in life is to make sure I’m happy… everyday

#3 He loves me in words, and actions…… always seeming to love me more today than he did yesterday

#4 He listens to me… really listens to me.  Phone/tablet/computer down…. looking me right in the eye listens to me when I need him to

#5 He makes me laugh.  Belly laugh

#6  He puts our family, our pod, myself and our daughter, US above everything else.  We are his priority

I could go on and on, but if you really look at it, really pay attention to what’s going on in Paradise, you will come to the same conclusion that I have.  My Love is the one who gave me these “butterflies” almost 26 years ago, and when your heart is as full as mine is, like a balloon with too much air, the butterflies have to go somewhere!






FU&K Cancer! I couldn’t save my mom, but maybe I can help save yours.

Fu&k Cancer!  I couldn’t save my mom, but maybe I can help save yours

Mother’s Day is this Sunday May 8th.  This is my 9th Mother’s Day without my mom.  This is my 9th EVERYTHING without my mom.  This September 29th she will have been gone for 10 years.

2000 me and momma

This year I am honoring my mother, and joining the fight against brain cancer by participating in the Head for the Cure 5k in San Antonio, TX on Saturday September 24, 2016.

LOGO images

Head for the Cure is dedicated to raising funds and awareness for brain cancer research.  I lost my mother to an aggressive metastatic brain tumor in 2006, and raising funds and awareness for brain cancer research may just help save someone else’s mother.

For momma I am calling my team “Team Susan Sundy”  I want everyone to hear her name, see her name, and know that she may be gone, but she is far from forgotten.  That one day some brilliant researcher will find a cure for what took her, and that eventually no one will have to see what I have seen…. Lost what I, and so many others, have lost.


Each year, over 200,000 people in the United States are diagnosed with a primary or a metastatic brain tumor.  More than 120 types of brain tumors exist, making effective treatment complicated.

Head for the Cure works to inspire hope for the community of brain cancer patients, their friends, families, caregivers, and other supporters by celebrating their courage, spirit, and energy.

If you would like to walk with me click HERE to join my team.  If you cannot walk with me, but would like to make a donation to Head to the Cure through my team page that would be amazing as well.  If the link is not working for you, here is the URL  http://events.headforthecure.org/site/TR?px=1130021&pg=personal&fr_id=1347&et=osxBTB_rhxAqRZsgyzBXxw&s_tafId=3724

I end this blog by giving my 9th annual Mother’s Day plea.

If your mom is still alive…..

PLEASE call her, go see her, communicate with her in any way that you can.  I would give anything if I could.

PLEASE do not let previous arguments, disagreements, or annoyances stop you from reaching out to her.

PLEASE hug her, tell her you love her, and spend as much time with her as you can.

PLEASE do not take for granted what I would give everything- do anything for.

Happy Mother’s Day my friends.




The glamorous life of a House Cat. I’m in hell, but I love it!

The glamorous life of a House Cat.  I’m in hell, but I love it.

I live with 7 little maniacs that try to kill me on a daily basis.  Five cats, and two dogs whose main goal in life is to poison me with hair, or throw me down a flight of stairs. 




Sleep, what the hell is that?  Between the dogs wanting to go potty in the middle of the night, or wanting to sleep with us- farting all night trying to suffocate me, or the ever loving cats singing the song of their people at the bedroom door, I haven’t slept a full night in years.

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On any given day I clean up at least 5 piles of poop, yak, or mystery balls-o-stuff.  Thank God I have a strong stomach.  The 5 gallon Home Depot bucket is my friend as I fight through my day just trying to clean up the mess.  It’s like Easter everyday as I hunt for the yuk they have left me.  I know it’s somewhere, I can hear them doing it…..  It’s a freaking game, I have to find it before someone sits in it.


Both dogs bum rush me any time I get near a door.  Garage door, back door, laundry room door…. It doesn’t matter where the damn door is going to…..   Where the hell are they going?  What the crap is so exciting 20 times a day??? I have had my legs knocked out from under me and my knees buckled simply by trying to go to the backyard. I’ve been tossed down the stairs landing gracefully on my ass because someone outside walked by the front door, and they have to go bark their faces off.  I’ve been knocked down and stuffed under my truck just by letting them out at the park.  Two 70+ pound dogs versus me, I lose every time.

Then you have the sneaky, crafty cats.  These little shits hide on stairs to trip me, bolt around corners to trip me, swipe at my arms and legs as I walk by, and throw up on every flat surface in the house.  That’s just the first hour I’m awake everyday.  Again, the damn doors.  Why do they try and escape all the time?  Who else is going to feed them Special Kitty food everyday?  Who else is going to leave full glasses of ice water all over the house so they won’t try and drink out of the toilets?  Where the hell are they planning to go? 

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Back to the dogs.  Chew bones, and pieces of toys have destroyed multiple vacuums, while the hair.  My God the hair.  How are they not bald? 

Why did I buy a house with white ceramic tile floors in it?  Cleaning the floors is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.  Completely pointless.  I could make money stuffing pillows with all of the damn hair I sweep up.  Don’t get me started on the cat hair……


I haven’t eaten a meal, or drank a beverage in 9 years that didn’t have hair in it.  Not even possible.  It’s everywhere.  Floors, counters, furniture, sinks, clothes, beds, every-freaking-where.  Ever see a dandelion come apart in the wind….  Yup, brush my cats and that’s what the whole house looks like.  I need a hazmat suit and 2 allergy pills just to survive.  Again, pillows.  I could do it.


You know what else.  I love every freaking minute of the hell they put me through.  I chase them, I tickle them, I hug them as they struggle to get away, I cuddle with them on the floor, the bed, the furniture….. I spoil them rotten, and every day when I sit down they converge on me and surround me with 14 little eyes telling me they love me…… and they’re hungry.




LASIK eye surgery. Third times a charm….. Right?



I have been wearing corrective lenses, glasses or contacts, for 42 years.  At two years old I rocked the huge coke bottle glasses that had to be held on with a strap because I was too little to keep them on.  As a teen, technology had evolved just far enough so that my lenses could be half the thickness, and not magnifying the size of my eyes when you looked at me.  Remember the huge owl eyes that people had with those thick glasses?  Yeah, sigh, I do.


At 21 years old I was amazed when my eye doctor finally said that they made contacts for people who had vision as horrible as mine.  Astigmatism, far sighted…… It was glorious.  The weight of the glasses off of my nose and face was worth dealing with dry eyes, shifting lenses, trying to find them to put them in….  So worth it after 19 years of glasses.


Then 6 or 7 years later LASIK was offered to the four eyed masses.  How exciting, right?  Wrong.  The first LASIK doctor I went to said that the technology of the day was not good enough, developed enough, to correct my horrible vision or astigmatism.  I was crushed, but just like I waited for contacts, I would wait for LASIK to catch up with me.

2006 found me in Dallas, Texas and I decided to try LASIK again. It had been another 6 years or so….. come on technology.  🙂  It seems that 2006 was my lucky year!


I had LASIK performed with a 20/20 guarantee on one eye, and no guarantee on the other.  I always knew one eye was better than the other, so this made sense to me.  I was in and out in an hour, driving myself back in the doctors office 24 hours later for a check up, and happy to announce to anyone who would listen that I now had SUPER HD VISION!!!  I swear I could pick out and focus on a blade of grass 100 feet away.  I just knew that this is what Superman felt like.  It was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me in my life.  I was finally free.

Then 7-8 months later I couldn’t see that blade of grass anymore, so I went back in and did the whole process again.  A touch-up they called it.  No guarantee on one of my eyes, remember?  Well, LASKIK 2.0 lasted for about another year, year and a half tops.  I knew it was degrading, but to my surprise I didn’t know how bad until I went in to renew my driver’s license and failed the eye test at the desk.  Hello eye doctor, hello glasses…… again.


Interesting survey below.


I was one of the 45% who had a side effect.  Halo’s of light around light sources (street lamps, traffic lights, outdoor signs,  and especially headlights) when I was in the dark.  I was also part of the 12% who went in for a second surgery, and the 59% that do not have any regrets.  Well, other than it only worked for me for about 2 years.  $5,000 is a lot of money to only last me 2 years.  That brings me to today.

I’m going back in my friends.  I have to try again, right?  The allure of getting rid of these glasses forever is just too strong.

UPDATE:  Just back from the South Texas Eye Institute where I spent 2 wonderful hours being tested by multiple machines, and seen by the awesome Dr. Lisa Marten, MD.  Apparently it’s not advisable to have a 3rd LASIK surgery, but I still have options.  One option being Crystalens.  Crystalens is a permanent replacement lens that you normally think of for patients with cataracts.  These lenses would be surgically implanted into my eyes, think permanent contacts.  While I do not have cataracts, I do meet enough criteria that this may be a workable solution.   For now I have a lot of research to do, another appointment to go to, and an insurance company to deal with.  More details to come.

Have any questions let me know.